“What are you looking at?”

Posted: September 24, 2012 in Uncategorized

Having been born and raised in the heart of the Bible-belt during the time when “legalism” was at its highest, I realize that my perspective is probably a bit different from a lot of folks.

I really can’t remember a day growing up that “Christianity” wasn’t at the core of my everyday life.  It is ingrained deep into my soul and most of my life choices and experiences are filtered through that reality.

Don’t get me wrong, even for a second, I’m in no way degrading that.  I’m just setting the stage for my thoughts to follow.

In the “Christian World” we are set up to look to the leaders of our day.  Our pastors, our youth leaders, our evangelists, our women speakers, our book authors, etc…. those are the ones that we most often follow and, in many ways, become our gods. 

Throughout the Bible, God reinforces the fallacy of this kind of thinking.  He says over and over, “Don’t put your confidence in men”, but we don’t listen.  We want to put them on a pedestal thinking that we are to follow them blindly and that they are immune to satan and can do no wrong.

The problem with this is that they are all sinners.  No better, no worse, just ALL sinners.  Just like you and me.

In my 46 years of life.  I have seen MANY a “man/woman of God” fail and crumble in both public and private shame.  Men and women, who over the years, have been my guides, teachers, examples, etc. have come to know the depths of failure and sin and have lost everything that they spent their lives trying to build.

There have been times when these realities have destroyed me and have sent me “reeling” into depths of disbelief and discouragement.   Even with a latest headline, someone who I at one time had huge respect for, I struggle with these demons.  My mind wants to say that if these pillars of the Christian faith can’t stand, then why do we even try. 

Then I am reminded, with that still small voice, “I’ve never failed you.  I’ve never disappointed you.  I will NEVER let you down.  Follow me, not them.”

Thank you Jesus!

Thanks for stopping by😎

it’s all about me

Posted: January 3, 2012 in Uncategorized

Hello Friends,

I promised myself that I would NOT mention that my blogging ritual has become a non-ritual……so I’m not.  I write when I can and that is all I have to say about that………😎

As I reflect back on my prior year of life, I can see a pattern………..frustration!  I HATE the feeling of frustration!  It is so……….well, frustrating!

I am determined to get to the source of this dreaded emotion and attempt to conquer it and exile it from my life.

I have realized that most of the frustration in my life comes from expectations that are not met.  Ironically these expectations are primarily for others and not myself.  I have all these goals and accomplishments that I want to see from those around me.  I want more spiritual leadership in my life, I expect to see thoughtfulness and sacrifice of selfishness from those around me, I have hopes for others to choose right over wrong and to abandon their ambitions to do what God has for them, I look to my friends to be there for me and support me when I need a shoulder. The list of expectations is endless.

The sad thing is, very few of these expectations are actually within my control or have anything to do with me in any way.  I want others to be what I expect them to be, but am I who I should expect to be?!?  I have read so many quotes about this.  One of my favorites is, “You cannot change other people, only your reaction to them.”  I posted one on my fb page earlier, “He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief which he purposed to remove.” 

I am currently reading the book by John Maxwell, “Winning With People”.  The first principle he discussed is the “Mirror Principle”.  In the chapter he quotes, “In most situations, I am the problem.  My mentalities, my pictures, my expectations, form the biggest obstacles to my success.” 

I want spiritual leadership – I need to be a spiritual leader,  I want thoughtfulness and self sacrifice from others – I need to be thoughtful, I expect others to make good choices – I need to make good choices, I expect my friends to be there when I need them – I need to be the support my friends need.  Basically, what I want from others, I need to be that and more myself.  I have a sneaking feeling that when I decide to become myself what I want others to be, I will be a lot more tolerant and a lot less frustrated when trying to get what I want.

So, summary for the New Year………Less about others and More about me!😉

Thanks for stopping by😎

Each week I see hundreds of little faces come past me.  Infants being carried by their moms, preschoolers running ahead of their parents, teenagers trying to avoid their parents(😉 ), each one has a different story, a unique background.  One thing they all DO have in common is an unwritten future.

I can’t help but be intrigued and a little challenged at this thought.  What will they become, what does their future hold?  Did I just greet the next world leader, did I just change the diaper of the one who will discover a vaccine for all fatal illnesses, did I just pat the head of an evangelist who will take the story of Jesus to the masses?  Or will one of these precious little ones grow up to know poverty that we can’t even comprehend with cold nights on the street, thinking no one  loves them or cares about them?  Is one of these that I just passed the last soul to be saved before Jesus comes to take us home?

I know, sobering thoughts for so early in the morning.  But the key is, these futures have not been written.   May we take a minute to look into someone and see their potential, their hurts, their longings.  We have a responsibility to these who still have so much of life to live.  We want to determine what the future holds; it lies with the little ones who will be the future.  May we be the change we want to see in the world, may we start now determining the future by leading and loving the ones who are the future.

“One hundred years from now, it won’t matter what our bank account was, how big our house was, or what kind of car we drove; but the world may be different because we were important in the life of a child.”


Thanks for stopping by😎

my journey to preschool

Posted: September 19, 2011 in Uncategorized

There are times in my life when I am completely overcome by the Holiness and Sovereignty of God.  Times when all I want to do is fall on my knees or sit in “sackcloth and ashes” to exhibit my total humility to God for His unconditional love and care for me.

But then there are those times when God totally amuses me.  Times when things occur and I just have to say “I hear ya God”.  Kind of like mine and God’s own little “inside joke”.

I recently had one of those moments……….About a month or so ago, I received an email from my church stating that the current preschool directors were stepping down and if I had any interest in the position, please contact the church office.  To be quite honest, I’m not really 100% sure what all the email said, due to the fact that I briefly scanned it, hit delete, and said to myself, “Good luck trying to find somebody to take that job.”

Can you tell where this is headed……….

About a week later, I received another email, this one a bit more specific, addressed directly to me.  Again, I hit delete, without much hesitation.  A few days later, I received a phone call asking if I had gotten the email and if I thought I might be interested in the position.  Again, I quickly hit delete……(no I didn’t, remember this is a phone call…just checking to see if you’re paying attention), I quickly said, “I don’t think so” and ended the call.  Yes, occasionally I REALLY am that clueless as to what God is saying and He has to, metaphorically of course, slap me upside the head.

As I placed the phone back on the base, I literally felt like I couldn’t breathe.  Like a 1000lb. weight had been dropped on my heart.  I grabbed the phone and dialed the church office and said that I would at least like to meet with the Pastor and get some additional info about the position.

Well, long story short………I am now the Director of Preschool Ministries at my church.

I recently told someone that I have come to the realization that one distinct way I can tell if God is leading me in a particular direction is, if it is in an area that I would NEVER have even given a second thought about, then that is usually what God wants for me.  He likes to challenge me that way, or maybe that He likes showing me how naive I am to limit myself to only certain things that are totally in my comfort zone and on my radar of where I see myself.

Yes, He has done it again, and all I have to say is, “Good one, God.”

Thanks for stopping by😎

Easy Love

Posted: August 11, 2011 in Uncategorized

(I would normally begin , at this point, by stating that I cannot believe how long it has been since my last blog….but I will skip the usual penance realizing that no one cares or notices the frequencies of my blogging patterns…….)

Lately I have had moments where frustration and annoyance have over taken my usual peaceful and easy-going spirit.  I woke up this morning and had the idea of blogging all my frustrations and ranting about all the situations/people in my life that induce these feelings.  As I was in the shower, contemplating all the thoughts I would expel onto my post, it was as if an audible epiphany hit me.  “How shallow would I be and how stagnant would my life be if everyone in it constantly built me up and raised my spirits?”

Now don’t get me wrong, my life is filled with easy to love people.  You know, people who make me feel good about myself and have the ability to bring out the best in me.  I have friends who I know I can trust with my deepest darkest secrets and who I know would always be on my side, no questions asked.  But, as with everyone, I also have people in my life who seem to deflate me.   

I was struck with the notion that it is because of those people that I feel the urge to turn to God and asked for His wisdom and to be filled with His understanding and love.  It is easy to love the loveable, but the real character comes into play when we love the unloveable or the hard to love.  And often, the real benefit comes when we can’t find the love so we allow God’s love to flow through us onto the other person.   I am trying to realize that often times, those people can be used as the “sand paper” in my life,  scraping off that outer layer of hardness and selfishness and impatience. 

So for all you “easy to love” people in my life, thank you for being who you are and for making my life so joyful.  But to those “not so easy to love”, may I learn from you what I need to learn and may I always have this thought prevalent in my brain,  “Who am I that person to?”

Thanks for stopping by😎

Having all teenage and adult children definitely has its rewards.  Hubby and I can go out whenever we want and not have to think about getting a sitter, we aren’t constantly worrying about keeping the house safe, changing diapers, etc.  Being able to have adult conversations with your kids and asking their opinions on different matters that come up is a wonderful thing and we are enjoying this phase in our lives.

Despite all the positives of grown children, there is a huge part of me that longs for “missing teeth” smiles, the patter of small feet running through the house, the excitement in their eyes when you pull out their favorite snack.  It is because of these longings that I have chosen my closest friends very carefully……..the main critieria……parents of small children!  Now these adults are, in themselves, wonderful loving people and I feel blessed to have all them in my life.  But let’s face it, their main appeal is their kids!  (don’t tell them that😉 )

I had the privilege recently of spending some time with some of these kids in one of those mega toy stores.  Your first thought might be; kids in a toy store, that sounds more like a nightmare than a time of blissful reflection.  Searching the aisles for just a glimpse of  a favorite character on a box or pulling everything off the shelves that we can find that has any type of button to mash or a card that says “try me”, or walking with older children and having them explain different battle scenes or characters and their roles in certain games, or looking at princess outfits and doll clothes………. it was definitely one of the “funnest” things I have done in a while.  The joy and sheer excitement in a child’s eyes over such a simple pleasure is some of life’s greatest moments.

I started thinking about the verse that says, ” Children are a gift of the Lord..”  What is it that God wants to give us from these small ones?  We often think about what we are supposed to teach them, but in reality, what are they supposed to teach us?  Could it just be finding joy in simple things.  What is it about children that makes them so delightful?  Could it be that they never hold a grudge or have ulterior motives, they rarely look for the bad in others but instead love unconditionally……..?  Yes, children have much to learn, but more than that, they have MUCH to teach.  May we all set aside some time to just simply enjoy the smiles from a child, to just listen to them and see what they have to say, and most importantly allow the simple joys in life to flood our souls and make us aware that God’s greatest gift to the world……a child.

Thanks for stopping by😎

much ado about nothing

Posted: November 29, 2010 in Uncategorized

(hopefully Mr. Shakespeare won’t mind me “borrowing”😉 )

I know, blogs are supposed to be writings about the author’s daily activities and accomplishments.  As I have mentioned before, I have such a hard time with that.  I always want to find the “You see, Timmy” in each posting.  I find myself not wanting to write about mundane happenings unless I can somehow tie it all up in the end with some thought-provoking moral.  So when months go by and you’ve heard nothing from me in the blogging world, just rest assured that it is not because I have nothing to say……it is because I have nothing meaningful to say, or nothing that I think would be of benefit to you.  You know, basically everything you have read so far in this post……..🙂

I will say that my life has quickly gotten extremely busy. Among other jobs,  I have taken on a new position as taxi driver.  My children live a very active social/working/church life and I am pretty much their sole means of transportation.  I will say that we have some very good conversations in the car to and from all their activities.  I am very thankful that we have a relationship where we enjoy each other’s company and actually have a lot of things to talk about.  With the realization that most teenagers now days have very little to say to their parents, I remain extremely blessed to have a healthy verbal relationship with all three of mine.

Completing my last year to homeschool multiple children remains at the fore front of my daily chores as well.  My daughter’s senior year holds many challenges, but we are embracing them and looking forward to what God has planned for her life.  College applications, tests, many activities, jobs, photo shoots, and other important decisions that have to be made are amongst our pressing engagements/tasks.  I am also trying to get my youngest daughter ready to start highschool next year and being available for my oldest daughter who is working and deciding the course of her life as well.   Life is definitely never boring.

Well, by now I am sure that I have totally bored you and that there is nothing written here that will stay with you once you click that big  “X“.

……..I do have a quote that I heard on one of my favorite Christmas movies over the weekend……

“I am thankful for friends who are like family and family who are friends.”

Thanks for stopping by😎