Faith or Fear, Whose Your Daddy?

Posted: April 23, 2008 in musings

For weeks I had been toying around with an idea in my head.  I wanted to title it, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”.  Sunday, the preacher spoke on “Fear” in church and that just got me going on my previous thoughts. 

Aren’t “Fear” and “Worry” the same thing?  He had us each take out a card and write down our most prevalent fear or fears.  It only took me a second to write mine down, because I knew exactly what it was.  I am generally a person who worries very little.  I think it is a waste of time and accomplishes very little.  I have always thought that my spiritual gift was “Faith”.  I truly believe that God works things out according to His plan.  As I write that, I become a little “fearful” hoping that God doesn’t view that statement as pride and decide to put it to the test. 😦

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine a few weeks ago and I asked her if she thought it was possible to have too much faith.  I wonder about that sometimes.  I think that maybe I am more “laid back”about things than I should be.  Maybe, a little worry IS good sometimes if it gets us into action.  I don’t know.  I live my life, in most areas, knowing that what ever happens, God will be there and He will work it out.  I know what you are thinking, “Faith without works is dead.”  And you are probably right.  Even though we can leave most things to God, we still have to take some matters into our own hands and do our best?!?  That sounds a little odd, but any hoo……moving on.

Well, this post has definitley gotten a bit off track.  Those of you who read my blog on a regular basis, all 2 of you, have certainly realized by now that that happens alot.  (Me getting off track).  I have come to think of it has an endearing quality, havent’ you?  No, I didn’t think so. 🙂

Okay, back to the little “fear” card.   I quickly wrote down my fear.  It isn’t that kind of fear that encompasses you and you have a panic attack or anything, but it is the thing that I fear most.  My fear is heart-break.  I don’t mean just heart breaks that occur and bring some sadness, I mean true overwhelming, literal heartbreak, the kind that causes actual physical pain. 

 I have only had that type of heart-break two times in my life.  The first was in 1987. I was in college, yes a Bible college, and through a series of circumstances, my life was shattered and my dreams for the future dissipated.  At that moment, I truly thought that I was not going to survive.  I thought my life was over and living held no enticement for me.  Had it not been for one or two people that came to my rescue, I would not be here today.  But, here I am, years later, and God has replaced all those shattered dreams a hundred-fold and my life is far richer than anything that I could have planned. (Eph. 3:20)

The second time was in 2004.  It was a catastrophic event involving some family issues.  Relationships were severed and my heart was broken seemingly beyond repair.  It was truly traumatic and recovery has yet to be made.  I know they say time heals all wounds, but I guess they mean ALOT of time.  Wounds are healing, but sometimes when the bandage gets ripped off, it is back to the starting gate and the wound gets deeper with each peel. 

The scars remain from these two devestating events.  I’m sure broken hearts never truly mend, they just become more and more callous.  My fear of heart-break, has caused me to become more guarded.  You know the saying, “Hurt me once, shame on you, hurt me twice, shame on me.”  I have kinda developed that sort of mentality over the years as a form of self-preservation.  I fear heart-break, so in my mind letting the fewest people into the corridors of my heart will help maintain that sense of control.  If I don’t let them in, they can’t hurt me.  I guess that is a huge lack of faith isn’t it?  I know God puts people in our lives and expects us to share our lives with them, no matter what the cost.  Well, maybe this entire post has been to let me see that, living by faith is not a destination, it is a journey that we must passionately strive for each day.  Even if it means we have to let go of some of that control that we like to have.  That is never fun 😦 , but probably very rewarding. 🙂

Thanks for stopping by for a visit!

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Comments
  1. Renae says:

    I remember a lady asking me whether I was going to live in faith or in fear. That question has stayed with me. It is a choice, isn’t it?

    There is always a risk in love. Look what happened to Jesus.

  2. brumbemom says:

    You are soooo right! I can’t even imagine the heart-break in His statement.
    “And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? “

  3. dsimple says:

    Yes, I can relate to all you said so well. When my husband became ill, our friends essentially turned their backs on us. I suspose they didn’t know what to do or say, so they chose to do and say nothing at all. It was the most lonely, difficult time imaginable. After we moved, I’ve had to make the choice to reach out to people and build new relationships and new friendships. But the fear of being hurt and abandoned like that again often tries to gain the upper hand in my life and keep me isolated and not reaching out. It’s definitely a huge step of faith to set those worries and fears aside. Thanks for the thoughtful post (and for the prayers). 🙂

    ~Debi

  4. Fear of pain, that’s a biggie, isn’t it? Even the toughest Christians would probably have to put that on their card…..

    A thought-provoking post. I hope you see healing in those broken relationships soon.

  5. Lyn says:

    Look at those times as opportunities to die to self. To be sanctified. Those things are all in God’s plans. He makes no mistakes. Wasn’t there a song a while back–Life is hard, but God is good?

    I know what you mean–sometimes I could be afraid of what is next? Does He have some other huge thing waiting? But it’s like a roller coaster–hang on tight and enjoy the ride.

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