1 + 1 = 1

Posted: June 25, 2009 in marriage/love
Tags: ,

I am sure by now you have already heard all the latest gossip about Jon and Kate Gosselin.  Even if you aren’t a fan of the show, you have probably been witness to all their dirty laundry being hung out for all to see.  I will spare you the pain of having to read it all over again.  There are MANY opinions about why their marriage is failing and each person I have heard has a different take of who did what and who should have done what differently.  Most marriages in America do not last, especially celebrity marriages, so why are we so shocked by the failure of theirs?

Because you can’t turn on the tv or internet without hearing or seeing their marriage failures being exploited, I have been thinking a lot about marriage lately.  What do most marriages fail?  Why do so many couples who stand before God and all their friends and family and express their unending love for someone, simply walk away at the first sign of trouble?  Why do so many couples who vow to love each other until death part them, look to divorce so quickly and just walk away from the promises they have made to the one that they supposedly love more than life itself?  What changes?  Did they enter into the marriage with the wrong goals and values in the first place?  Did they enter into it with the notion that if it doesn’t work out then they will just get a divorce, so it really isn’t that big of a deal anyway? 

I have to believe that most couples who get married enter into that union with the full assurance that this is the one person that they want to spend the rest of their life with.  Otherwise they would not be getting married.  If this is true, then why does the majority end in divorce?

I think there are, of course, a plethora of circumstances that can cause this extreme shift in dedication.  The biggie is not having a personal relationship with Jesus, the author of the marriage union.  If that is lacking in both spouses or especially in just one spouse, then failure will definitely be more eminent.  Without the love of God in your relationship, it will be much easier to just walk away and not  look back. 

We all know that the Bible has many things to say about this God-Ordained union.  The one that sticks out to me is keeping it extremely simple:  “Wife be subject to your husband….Husband love your wife.”

(Since this is an open domain and I do not know what age might stumble upon it, I tread lightly over the next paragraph)  We all know that husbands have three basic needs:  the first one, food, and respect.  If the first two are good then they might not need so much of the last…..well for that matter, if the first one is really good they might need very little of the other two 😉 .  If we are to be subject to them, then I am thinking that our main objective should be to meet their needs.  The first one I won’t go into, we all know what we should do there and if you don’t, just ask your husband. The second one is pretty cut and dry….feed your man!  When he comes in from work there should be a meal waiting.  I know that may be old-fashioned, but I believe they had a lot less divorces back then too!  The last one is where I think we all can tend to fall short.  Showing our man continued respect.  Does it honor him if we criticize him to our friends?  No!  Does it honor him if we talk about him negatively in front of our kids?  No!  Does it honor him if we choose to spend more time with our friends that we do him?  No!  Does it honor him if we make it obvious that our first priority is our children?  No!  Does it honor him to not tell him how much we appreciate all he does for our family?  No!  Does it honor him to not greet him at the door after a long day’s work(and I add us looking like we have at least made an attempt to fix oursleves up) with a little hug and kiss?  No!  You get the picture.

The Bible says that when a man and woman get married they become ONE flesh.  That means to me that whatever one does the other is equally responsible for.  If one is criticized, then both are criticized.  Whatever you do to one, you do to the other.  ONE flesh.  No longer two people, but ONE.  If we could get that through our heads it could revolutionize how we see our marriages.

This has gotten very long, so I will end here and just make up a part 2 sometime.  I still have many thoughts rolling around in my head and I need to relay some things about the husbands role too.  Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings and I hope that something will give you an extra dose of love and respect for your man today.

Thanks for stopping by 😎

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Comments
  1. Lisa Massie Tomlins says:

    Michele – your blog is wonderful! This is all so true! We married girls need to be reminded of this so often. Thank you!

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