pull, push…..release!

Posted: September 1, 2009 in Uncategorized

I have been considering 3 phases in the life of parenting……

The first one comes when your children are very small and probably lasts until around age 13 or so(sometimes later).  It is the “Pulling” stage.  That is when we, as the parents, go ahead of the child and map out their steps before them.  We are leading the way and try and clear out any obstacles and make sure the path is safe and appropriate for them to travel.  They rarely go down roads that we have not already surveyed and approved and have given permission for them to take.

The next phase is the “Pushing” phase.  It usually occurs in the teen years.  It is where we have now moved to somewhat behind them or at least beside them.  They are allowed to now make a lot of their own decisions and set up their own goals and boundaries(to some extent).  We are no longer in front of them pulling them down roads that we want them to take.  We have given them some freedom to explore their own interests.

The third phase is the releasing phase.  It creeps up on us and usually hits us somewhere around graduation.  It is when our children, now officially adults, have finished high-school and are preparing to make their way in this world.  They are making decisions that will affect their future and this can be quite alarming for us as parents.  We no longer feel comfortable telling them what to do and we are trying to allow them some space to find God’s will for their life and pursue it with all their might.  Of course, we are still there offering guidance and support, but this is a period when they must start making their own way.

I have a child is each of these phases, and I must stay that this last phase is by far the most difficult.  I have certain ideas and blueprints that I want my children to follow.  Of couse, I have been training them, educating them, loving them, guiding them, for such a time as this.  But now, to let go and just sit back and rest in the upbringing that I have gifted them with is very hard for me.  I know my daughter will make wise decisions and I have complete trust in her abilities and in her wisdom, but it is tough to release her to fly on her own. 

I am so thankful that God gives us the assurance that He can now take the helm and guide them where He sees fit.  “I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” 

Thanks for stopping by 😎

  1. Nancy says:

    Great insights here. I can totally relate. I have one in each phase too. (((hugs)))

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