This post is a bit on the personal side, and quite frankly, I am surprised that I feel the freedom to be so “raw” about my sin. But here it goes anyway….
Recently I was asked to do something that I considered a great honor. Of course, my first thought was extreme fear, but then I moved onto, “Well, they must think a lot of me to offer me this.” Then I moved onto, “Maybe I am special and people have seen what great abilities I have.” Then came the kicker, “If I do this, it would be way for me to make a name for myself and people would know who I am and what I am capable of.”
A few days later, actually, I think it was more like a few moments later, I felt like someone slapped me in the face; it was really more like stabbed me in the heart. I felt so ashamed that I had allowed this UGLINESS to overtake my spirit. I quickly decided that I was in no way going to do what had been offered and to the contrary, I needed to be taken down quite a few notches. It really broke my heart to look into that mirror that had been place before my soul.
I started wondering how many times in the past I had taken on a responsibility and the motivation behind it was self-recognition or self- promotion. I HATE that! Am I really one of those people who likes to build themselves up? I thought not, but my actions have proved otherwise.
I have begged forgiveness from God and I hope to have the guts and the brokenness to withstand satan’s wiles the next time he tries to destroy what could have been a really good thing, with the sin of pride. I just hate him, don’t you!?!
(My spell check wants me to capitalize satan’s name, but I refuse 😦 )
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Life, As I See It 